The Ultimate Husband

I have been viewing, reading and listening to the material found at http://ultimatehusband.com/

I can't recommend more the great insight and understanding I have received from this website, it underpins a lot of the truths which I have read from John Gottman's books on marriage but ultimate husband comes from a biblical point of view.

I think gaining an understanding and being able to feel what our spouses feel has to be the most powerful source to change in our lives. As a husband to the most amazing woman in the world, I am committed to changing my behaviours which don't respect my wife's feelings and emotions.

Though I have been married 26 years, this is very much a new experience for me and only now in my late forties am starting to truly recognise how insufficient I have been towards my own wife.

I pray that the latter half of my life be greater than the former as I pray yours also may be!!!
James

Collateral Beauty

Can beauty come from grief or loss or even death? In the midst of our loss this is hard to imagine, yet this is precisely what Jesus was saying when he said for something to be born it must first fall to the ground. It must die in order to bring forth the life which is within it. 1 Peter says that within each of us is an incorruptible seed. This is the very seed of Jesus who first laid down his life for us and as Romans says became the "first born of many brothers". When we die to self and our own will we give that seed in us the opportunity to bring forth new life.
At the core of empathy is being able to feel as others feel. To feel what others feel however requires that we are able to put the feelings of others first or at least at the forefront of our own feelings. When I stood at the altar almost 27 years ago and pledged my true love to my wife, I was putting her in front or above me, and she in turn said she would do the same for me. At what point do we cease to do this? At what point does God cease to do this for us? God's love today has not and will not cease for His creation, the power of the cross and all it represents continues to remind us of God's unwavering and unfailing love for us.
So, can beauty come from grief? Yes it can as we choose God's will over our own. By putting others first we are choosing the way of the cross and God's own will and desire for creation. I believe if we are able to demonstrate this to everyone around us then we will truly know the will of God. I know there have been times in my life that I have not done this, when I was focused on my own circumstances instead of those around me. This I think is the carnal or corrupted man trying to reveal itself again. Whilst I am alive I choose to learn, I choose to be a disciple of Christ!
God Bless you

The Birthright by John Sheasby and Ken Gire

Taken from the Prodigal Son

Recently I have been reading this book by John Sheasby and Ken Gire called the Birthright. I have to admit this last couple of years I have been carrying around a lot of shame due to feelings of failure. I have to admit that I have failed in some areas of my life, whether be as a Son and Child of God and not feeling I have been able to do and be all I felt expected of me and as a husband who did not love my wife as Christ loves the church. Though I have failed, I am not a failure to God but simply a work in progress that He continues to lavish with his love.

This book has made me see again just how much God loves us that even when we feel we are the scum of the earth that He still continues to search us out and desires to bestow His gifts of covenant relationship upon us. Even though in our eyes we are filthy and smelly and don't deserve his love, because of the Grace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus and all that He has finished on the cross in dealing with our sins God so desire to embrace us and cover us with His robe of righteousness.

He places his signet ring upon on us and declares we belong to him, knowing that what belongs to God is now also ours. Including all that Jesus has we also have access to, or as Paul the apostle says everything pertaining to life and godliness". Every spiritual blessing in heaven and earth are ours as we read in Ephesians. He has left nothing undone for us!

In addition he gives us shoes which are shod with the gospel, declaring each day that we are sons and remind us each day of God's goodness towards us and how we can share that goodness with others. these shoes also prepare us as bringers of God's peace, not the kind of peace that man can provide but true peace that sets sinners free from their bondage.

Finally, God celebrates the restoration of this covenant relationship by killing the fattened calf which was being prepared and left for the most important celebrations. This covenant calf and it's now shed blood reminds us of who we are to God and how important we are to Him. Just as Jesus is our Lamb of God slain for all mankind so that all of God's creation, including those that hate God, have access to Him through the shed blood of Jesus.

How truly amazing and wonderful is our God that even in the midst of our own sin and shame God continues to search us our to bring us again into glorious relationship with Him.

I love you Father, I thank you Jesus for your Grace and am so grateful Holy Spirit for leading me into this wonderful fellowship!

Crazy Love - Francis Chan

After 32 years of being a disciple or learner of Christ, I am finally starting to truly grasp the core of God's great plan for his creation. Ironically, that plan has never changed but certainly my understanding of that plan has varied from my personal circumstances.

At the core of God's plan has always been His love for you and I. How this love is actuated or realised in our lives often depends on our upbringing and current circumstances. My upbringing often gave me a one sided view of God's love, though I knew of God's great love by the sacrifice He made for me, I often struggled to understand how we in turn would convey that same love to those around us. For me it revolved around acts of love or doing things for others to make them happy. Yet we all know that simply making others happy does not necessarily make them appreciate you or your sacrifice for them any more.

In recent years, I have come to realise that if we truly are to love God and our neighbours as ourselves then we must learn to love them in ways which enable them to be the people God wants them to be rather than simply conforming to a pattern which we find easy or traditional for us.

I often struggled to understand why so much time and resources are spent to bring people to church and virtually none spent on equipping and sending people into the world. If we are truly called to be salt and light then surely the place for this to happen is in our dark world.

I recently come across Francis Chan's website and books revolving around his newly found revelation of this same plan and wanted to recommend it. The link for this site is http://crazylove.org , if you are interested in being the church rather than simply doing church then let me recommend you check out this site and books that Francis has written. I believe this is the way forward and though many will choose to maintain the status quo and attend meetings each Sunday, I hope everyone will start to ask the question why does God have me on this earth and what gifts are unique to me that He desire me to share with others?

God Bless

John Gottman and the 7 Principals of Successful Marriage

I have been reading John Gottman's book on marriage as described above, apparently he is the foremost expert in marriage with over 40 years of research. It is therefore expected that this man must know a thing or two about the subject.

As a Christian man who recognises that I have failed in being the husband my wife deserves and the father my children need, I am on a journey to change my destructive ways and invite the Holy Spirit to lead me in being all God would have me be. Often as pastors and leaders in the church we neglect those who are closest to us believing some how that others need us more. I am becoming aware just how wrong this is and just how much I neglected the people who needed me the most, my wife and children.

Needless to say, most of what Dr Gottman has said in this book has been confronting and has shed a light on a number destructive behaviours in my life. One such behaviour is my reaction to complaints or criticism, not just from my wife but from others also. Dr Gottman describes DEFENSIVENESS as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse which leads to divorce. Whilst we know this horseman is not found in the book of revelation, it is however one of the major contributors or at least indicators in a marriage that is heading down a path of destruction.

When I become defensive I am sending a message to my wife or whoever it is that is critical of me that their complaint is unjustified. Ultimately I am saying they and their complaint are unimportant transferring my own shame and guilt for what I have done to offend them back on to them. This is something I recognise I do again and again and I am starting to understand somewhat why this happens.

As a child growing up we were often smacked or hit by our father when he came home from the pub drunk based on information my mother gave him when he came through the door. My mother did this herself to defer possible abuse from our father from herself to the children. As a result, I learnt that I needed to defend my bad behaviour and where possible shift blame to others, which in my case was often one of my 5 siblings. This is not to say that I didn't get my fare share of beltings from my father but as my older siblings recently revealed to me I was often seen by them as the favourite due to my fathers better treatment of me.

Defensiveness by itself is bad enough, yet one of the contributors to a bad marriage is upping the anti to ensure we win arguments. This is making a greater complaint about the other person when they come to us with their own complaints. Accusations is another way of doing this, by finishing an argument by accusing the person who brings the complaint to us by some far worst accusations whether we know this to be true or not. I did this recently in an argument with my wife in April of this year. Not being able to respond in love to her complaint I immediately became defensive and then tried to win the argument (fight) by stating things which were untrue or at least I only thought were a possibility.

Yet none of this is the example that Christ gave when he died for all of our sins on the cross. He bore all of our sins, sicknesses, complaints, criticisms upon himself and set his face like flint as a lamb to the slaughter. I have the greatest example of how we are to respond to complaints yet have failed not only my wife but to be what Jesus was to me in my life and lay it down.

Why do I write about my weaknesses? I believe that being completely honest about ourselves and our failings will produce Godly sorrow which leads to repentance and not just worldly sorrow which leads to death. It is therefore my prayer that by exposing myself to others I can see the change in my own life and perhaps inspire others to do the same. I still have a long way to go, but each and every day I am yielding my life into the hands of my Lord and Saviour Jesus the Christ! I know that He is faithful and true to finish the work that He began in me.
God Bless

Stonewalling and 2 Samuel 5:20

Stonewalling is a term used to describe a total breakdown in communications usually between friends or loved ones. Stonewalling however can occur is all areas of life, ranging from friendships to work colleagues and even between members of your local church.

There are many reasons why stonewalling occurs, and no one and everyone involved are to blame for stonewalling. What I mean with this is both parties contribute to stonewalling in one way or another. At the end of the day, stonewalling occurs when one or both parties give up in trying to work things out.

Stonewalling in my experience is the most destructive part in any relationship breakdown as what ever you try to do or be is rejected by the other party. Stonewalling is not God's way of dealing with relationship problems as we know from scripture that our God desires reconciliation as Paul speaks about in 2 Corinthians 5:11-21,
¹¹ Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. ¹² We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. ¹³ If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. ¹⁴ For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. ¹⁵ And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
¹⁶ So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin^[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

When we are faced with stonewalling what then should our response be? Remembering that firstly we most likely contributed to the stonewalling as I know I have done in the past, we must therefore begin with honesty and truthfulness being able to confess that we have wronged the other person and repent of those ways. Secondly we know that God is love and our response to stonewalling or any other event that hurts us needs to come from a heart that is filled with God's love. This is easier said than done when you are in the moment as I know too well. Many times I have responded from my pain rather than from God's unconditional love but I am learning.

Finally we must understand that we "fight not against flesh and blood" as Paul indicated in Ephesians 6:10 but against the "principalities, powers and darkness in high places". Our fight for reconciling our relationships must be in the spiritual realm against the enemies of our souls. John 10:10 says the "thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come to give you life eternal." Remembering that God is for us and NOT against us and wants every one of us to see the victory that Christ gained on the cross.

How do we fight in the spiritual? We must firstly understand we have a God who desires to give us breakthrough, this breakthrough is exemplified in 2 Samuel 5:20 when King David had to defeat an enemy at Baal Perazim. When King David enquired of the Lord whether or not he should attack the enemy the Lord said to go for I will deliver the enemy into your hands. That place was later called Jehovah Perazim meaning the Lord breaks through after he easily defeated the enemy in that place.

Jeramiah 19 shows the utter disgust the Lord has of His people who take things into their own hands. When my wife and I were verbally and physically attacked by a neighbour several years ago I did just this. I tried to defeat this foe by calling in the police and used the courts to give us justice. When the neighbour would yell I would yell back. All the while God was waiting for me to believe Him for the breakthrough. When I finally did begin to trust God, after I had tried everything else, God was able to help, not only by giving us the sale of our home enabling us to move away from this oppressing environment but also to give some resolve through mediation with the neighbour. However, I believe a much greater outcome would have been possible had I not responded in my hurt but rather in God's love towards the neighbour who is also created in his image.

If we are to see the walls which separate us destroyed as the Israelites did at Jericho then we must begin to trust God for the breakthrough, understanding that God wants to reconcile us firstly to Him and then to others but also that He wants us to believe and trust Him that He is able and willing to rescue us from ourselves. It is so easy to take things into our own hands and respond from the flesh, I am still learning not to do this but I know that my God is faithful and His mercies are new every morning, so start to trust and believe God for the breakthrough. Ephesians 6 goes on to talk about the armour of God but ends with "praying in the Spirit". Yes, God has given us armour and the greatest of these is the word of God being the sword of the spirit, but we also need to know how and when to use it and praying in the Spirit is about being led by the Holy Spirit in everything.

God Bless

Truth & Feelings

It is said that we cannot trust our emotions, that is our feelings. And whilst we understand that feelings are simply a release of various chemicals induced by a series of impulses, it is also said that feelings and emotions are a way in which we know and understand what is underlying or beneath the surface that we often hide.

When I recently began to experience feelings of alienation and abandonment, one thing became blindingly obvious, within me were feelings and emotions that I never truly allowed the Holy Spirit to illuminate and deal with in my life.

Once these feelings were triggered began a flood of responses and reactions which I did not expect. I imagined every conceivable negative thought that I think was possible at the time. Ranging from feelings that the person who triggered these feelings did not love me though we have history of great love and genuine care for one another to wanting to simply go home, to be with the Lord Jesus in eternity.

Obviously these reactions or responses to this triggered pain and hurt were unwarranted yet also undeniable at the time. As a result I experienced great grief, pain, depression, anxiety and even panic attacks from this simple trigger. Where did this pain originate? As a child after my parents divorced I often had feelings of being alone and alienated from my family due to not having a permanent home. Moving back and forth between my parents and not having my own room or even bed until sometime made me believe I was unwanted and unimportant to those around me.

These feelings manifested throughout my life by creating as stable and permanent place for myself. Ranging from starting my own business, building my own home and starting my own churches. Not relying on others for my supply but by independence and self reliance. This however is not how our God has created us nor wishes us to be. Reliant upon Him in everything and sharing all we have and all we are with those around us as the family of God He has made us as we see demonstrated in the Acts of the Apostles.

So can we trust our emotions? No, I don't think we can but we can certainly learn from them. When we are able to be self critical and even allow others to criticise us with the purpose of helping us to grow in faith and love, then our emotions can help to understand what is lying beneath. Galatians 5 speaks of the fruit of the Spirit. They begin with love and end with self control, and whilst I do not believe this list is exhaustive, what I do feel that God certainly wants our reactions to all emotions to begin with His love and end with a life that is self controlled!

When we are squeezed or under pressure what do we see in our lives?

Conduits of Love

God is Love and according to John, if there is no love in us then it means God is not in us or at least we are not in Him. If then God is Love, which I believe, then the attributes of God must be seen in our own lives.

The key attribute of God has to be His unconditional love for all of His creation. This includes those whom we perhaps dislike or even hate for one reason or another. Of cause your saying if there is hate in our lives then we are not in God's love and this I also believe to be true according to scripture. Yet we also know that as Christians (followers/disciples of Christ) that even we can be subject to hurt and pain which can result in all sorts or contrary feelings towards those who hurt us.

Paul the apostles encourages us to pray for those who hurt us. Easier said than done, yet as we do this I can say first hand that it can have a profound change in hearts and on our lives. Jesus on the cross prayed for those who crucified him but the reason we often forget to mention, that is "because they know not what they do". All of us are at times subject to influence which cause us to say and do things which we regret or know is wrong. Recently my own frustration and pain caused me to respond angrily towards the most precious person I have ever had in my life, namely my wife. Did I mean the things I said? No certainly not but I said then all the same and then paid the price for my wrong doing.

Whilst in this example I was the one which did wrong, I myself have been subjected to much wrong doing throughout my life. My reaction to this has not always been exemplary but I am learning to respond as Christ did and as God desires us all to do, with His unconditional love. My prayer each day now is "Father, help me to respond to everyone and every circumstance with your kind of love". This is not easy to do as it requires each and every day, perhaps every moment, that I yield and subject my will into the hands of my heavenly Father.

I call this being a conduit of love, that is transporters, vessels, rivers of which God's love can flow to others. This has been most obvious in the work environment I find myself at the moment. Working with boys in detention and who possess some of the most aggressive behaviour, there is a continual need for me to see these boys not based on their behaviour but how God sees them, as His creation and beloved!

Whether we are children of God or God haters, one thing is certain God loves us all equally...

God Bless you

Blame and Shame

Blame and shame go hand in hand. After all, blame stems from not taking responsibility for ourselves and often about judging others around us. For almost forty years I blamed my mother for the break up of our family when she left our abusive father. For all those years I held resentment towards my mother but often covered it up by doing what appeared the right thing to those around me. That is by visiting her when she was sick and by hosting dinners for my siblings. Over the years I continually prayed for my mother and asked God to forgive me for my feelings towards her, yet never really forgave her myself. Yet whilst doing this I would often talk harshly or down to her, there was literally no love in our relationship though I lied to those around me that I loved my mum.

It wasn't until the breakdown in my own marriage that I began to deal with these emotions and earlier this year I was able to truly forgive my mum for all the hurt that I felt she caused me and our family. What was interesting is that as I was forgiving my mum I immediately started to look for the scape goat, that is the other person who was responsible for the breakdown of and ultimately my parents divorce. My mind moved to my father and the verbal and though I never saw it myself, the physical abusive he had for my mother and often for us children. Once again I was looking for someone to blame, yet the more time I spent in prayer the more the Lord Jesus showed me that no one could really shoulder the blame for what happened. After speaking with my aunty it was revealed that my father and his siblings encountered similar harshness from their father. I am also sure that if I was to probe I would find a great grandfather also in my family that was abusive towards his wife and children. However, at some point the blaming must stop!

Blame ultimately leads to shame, for as we blame others for the failures in our lives and not take responsibility ourselves we often repeat the very things that we saw from our fathers. When my own marriage began to breakdown two years ago I did just this. I blamed my wife and her behaviour for the failed marriage. This is not to say that both parties don't contribute to a relationship, they do, but each person must be responsible for their own actions which I was not. Eighteen months ago I began yelling at my wife for the frustrations and anger I felt, this abusive behaviour has mostly stopped in the last 6 months but God is still dealing with me. I have started to take responsibility for my own life and the ways I have failed my wife and children. Though there is still a great chasm in our relationship, I know that Jesus and by the power of His Holy Spirit is able and willing to bridge the gap and bring healing and restoration. He is the author and the finisher of our faith as Hebrews explains.

Please pray for me!

Shadows - Psalm 23

Psalm 23, one of our most famous scripture speaks of the "Valley of the shadow of death" and again in Hebrews 10 we are taught the law is only a shadow of the real thing. That is shadows are merely a reflection of what is true but in themselves are not truth.

When I sit in my garden at home, one of the most appealing and beautiful aspects of it is the shadows that the trees and their leaves cast around the place. Their reflections in themselves can be quiet amazing and beautiful. To cast a shadow it is imperative that two elements are present, one that there is light and two there is also darkness, for without one or the other shadows are not possible.

When we consider the garden of our lives shadows play a very important role. Just as believers and followers of Christ we want God's light to be present and endearing it is also important that we have darkness to reflect or cast shadows to show us what could be. This in no way means we want darkness present in our lives but are still able to understand that the presence of darkness in the world in which we live also provides the "children of light" with a reflection or understanding of its effects.

In the garden of Eden were many trees but only one tree was forbidden to eat from. The absence of this tree would have not given man the opportunity to rebel from God and therefore understand their potential for evil and therefore a free will to serve God or not. Darkness in the world therefore gives us not only the option to pursue light and all it entails but also to see the effects of darkness around us.

When we become angry and do things we regret which I have done many times in my life, I am able to see the effects of darkness in my life and it gives me an option to rid myself of it and change. Obviously I cannot merely change my reaction or angry behaviour without first dealing with the true cause of my anger but because of this behaviour I am then able to pursue what is good and right for my life. Scripture calls this the "higher way" and it speaks of God's work of transformation in our lives to become the "pure and spotless bride" that Christ so desires.
God bless you in your desires to seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness

The Heart and Anger - 1Cor 13:5

The apostle Paul to both the Ephesian and church in Corinth speaks to them about "not keeping a record of wrongs". As Christians we should understand of just how important this is. Christ "whilst we were still yet sinners died for us" as it says in Romans. And we know that God's favour towards us is due to his grace and mercy. Yet even as believers and followers of our Lord Jesus it is easy to harden our hearts not only to those that would obviously not like or love us but even towards those who we know should love us. That is our family and friends which are close to us.

What causes these accounts of wrong are vast and many, something as simply as a word out of place to unfaithfulness in marriage. Many of these things often give us a feeling of the right to be angry yet just as God's love towards us is unconditional so too must our ability to forgive those who wrong us.

When we keep a record of being wronged as one version states it, it is almost like we are adding stones which become lodged in our hearts. Proverbs tells us "to not let the sun go down on our wrath" and it would appear that our need to release people from our judgement must be daily. Just as Christ said "if anyone would come after me he must deny himself and daily take up his cross and follow me." Forgiveness and our ability to stop these stones from filling our hearts must be done daily to ensure these stones are not lodged in our hearts.

The wonderful news of the gospel is that in spite of the current condition of our hearts God in his mercy sent Jesus to set us free and to release us from our oppression as we read in Isaiah 61:1. As we submit our hearts and lives over to king Jesus and ask him to work on our hearts and the hardness which has been caused by the adding of these stones over many years "HE IS ABLE" to perform miracles and wonders within us. Giving us again hearts which are not callous and hard but soft and open to the promptings of His Holy spirit.

In a vision this morning I saw just this, a heart which God was soften by removing one stone after another. And whilst God is able to simply remove all of them at once, I believe he will often soften our hearts slower to give us the time to pray for and even bless those who have hardened our hearts with their wrongs in the first place.

God Bless

The Love Bank

Relationships are a little like having love banks. That is banks which we make deposits and withdrawals from. When we make too many withdrawals, our love bank is emptied and in some cases we can bankrupt our accounts.

When your account is bankrupt whether it be in the corporate world or in life, what most people do is file for bankruptcy or insolvency. This process initiates a number of things but most importantly it starts a process of communication.

If external or third parties are involved which contribute or are part of the relationship, than these parties or people are contacted to begin talks in sorting out the debt.

At this stage, communication is of the highest priority. When communications fail or breakdown then the next step is to take legal action to make claims against the bankrupted person.

Just as in the corporate world, as in life, communication is of the upmost importance when relationships fail. When there is no communication or even worse, when those trying to communicate are being avoided or even attacked by the other parties then miscommunication or reading into the situation will occur. Now, not only is communication lacking which can lead to solving the initial problem but miscommunication might cause people to assume the worst or make decisions which cause greater distress.

In war, those in the know tell us that ensuring communications and supply lines maintained are of the highest priority. When however, those lines are cut, such as when one party in a relationship refuses to communicate or even attack and attempt to hurt the other party because they were initially hurt, what do we do? I believe the only thing we can do is to pray and ask our loving God who knows all things to make a way of communication open again. Whilst at the same time, we must ensure that we in turn do not become offended but continually keep our hearts in check and soft towards reconciliation.

The one condition, if any, that is placed on our forgiveness by God is that we in turn forgive those who sin against us. As Jesus said in Matthew 6 in teaching his disciples to pray. guarding our hearts from hurt, not keeping a record of wrongs as Paul writes to the Ephesian church and not letting the sun go down on our wrath will enable our hearts to stay pure and communication lines open.

By the way, this will not sort out the initial cause of bankruptcy but will hopefully lead to reconciliation. The big question we must ask ourselves is why do we make withdrawals at all from the love banks of those we around us. Nowhere in scripture do we find God saying we should take love from others only that we should give love to others. Love is not to be taken but given by those who chose to give it to us. If we are taking love from others it is usually because we feel unloved ourselves. God is love and as an old Jewish man once said to me when I asked him what it means to have God as your Abba Father, he said, that's easy that means "God is your source and strength for everything". If we feel unloved, it is because we are trying to substitute God's love with the love of those around us.

Hope

Hope

Hebrews 11:1

Now Faith is....

The Substance (Assurance) of things hoped for...

The Evidence of things not seen....

 Most of us understand faith, without faith Hebrews tells us is impossible to please God. In fact if we continue reading Hebrews 11 we soon see that the real heroes in the bible were heroes because of their faith.

We also know from scripture that faith brings results as seen in these heroes of faith, in fact James 4 tells us that “faith without works is dead” and in the same way works done without faith is a futile. These are simply mans efforts rather than man believing God.

Faith further is an essential part of being followers of Christ. Yet if I understand scripture correctly, it is hope that makes faith possible.

What then is hope?

Even as we continue to read Hebrews 11 we soon see that hope is things unseen. That is with our natural eyes, but being able to see what God sees with our spiritual eyes.

1Cor 2:9 says “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived the plans that God has for those who love Him”.

Romans 12:2 speaks of the “good and perfect will of God”. From this we are able to deduce that has a will and desire that each of us is to discern.

Ephesians 3:20 says that “our God is able to exceedingly, above and beyond that which we can imagine”.

Hope is the glue that binds faith and action

Paul in 1Cor 13:13 says these three remain, “faith, hope and love”.

Hope in this scripture sits sandwiched between faith and love, but I believe this is not a mistake. For though we each need faith to believe for the things God has for us, it is the hope that we see with our spiritual minds that compels us to works and deeds of love.

Just as our God is love so too should the out workings of our faith be done in love.

Jesus said in Matthew 22:40 “the whole law and the prophets can be summed up in these two commandments”, love God and love your neighbour as yourself. (revised)

Sometimes I wonder if we the church of the 21^st century believes the love God is only for believers of Him. Yet scripture is clear that God loves all of His creation as we read in John 3:16 “For God so loved the WORLD that he gave is only begotten son...”

Paul says in Romans 5:12 “God demonstrates his love for us, whilst we were still yet sinners Christ died for us.”

Hope Deferred

Proverbs 13:8 says “hope deferred makes the heart grow sick”

Proverbs 29:18 says “where there is no finish, the people perish”.

Hope therefore makes faith possible. Just as faith makes it possible to please God, hope makes it possible to believe.

Hope therefore is essential.

What do we hope for?

We hope for what God has install for us...

We hope for the things that God has promised in His word for us...

We hope for that which is impossible for man but possible for God...

Where does our hope come from?

Romans 15:13 “our hope comes from God”...

Isaiah 40:31 “those that hope in the Lord shall renew their strength”

Psalm 121:1-2 says our help comes from God...

Philippians 3:13 says “forget that which lay behind me, I press on to that which lay ahead of me, towards the prize heavenward....”

Paul says in Colossians 1:27 “Christ in us, the hope of glory”

Hope brings us to our destiny

Two men, on the day Christ was put on trial before the high priest, were present. Both these men, in their weakest and darkest moments gave up or denied Christ.

I speak of Judas and Peter.

Whilst both these men walked with Christ and certainly were seen by Christ as friends and companions only one went on to fulfil his destiny.

Both were weak, mere men just like you and me, yet one took his life whilst the other saw the resurrected Christ.

What was the difference between Judas and Peter?

Hope, hope for the resurrected Christ.

Paul in 2 Cor7:10 speaks of godly sorrow which leads to repentance and worldly sorrow which leads to death.

Many will often exchange optimism for hope, worldly ideas or imaginations yet it is God’s thoughts and plans for us that is hope. Isa55

20 Years On

This month marks twenty years since being released of my role at Penrith Christian Life Centre. I visited this church yesterday with my daughter to catch up with what God was saying to this congregation but also to see what emotions were released.

I feel very blessed to have served so many years at this church. The people and their love gave me a great start and grounding in my life since accepting Jesus as Lord as a seventeen year old now as I look back  some thirty one years later. It is always wonderful to know that where ever you find yourself on life's journey that there is always people from whom you belong and later can return to. At least this is how I feel when I reflect upon what is now known as Imaginations Church.

Though this congregation has a great future, it is important to know from where we have come and what vision was seen in those early days to bring the hope of something new. It was just a few believers meeting at the Barlow's home in Emu Plains that saw the initial seed of what would first be known as the Charismatic Christian Fellowship. When the Charismatic revival swept through Australia in the seventies many could not fathom the effects this would have on so many people. They came from all walks of life, Catholics, protestants and even Seven day Adventists all without pretensions were swallowed up in this new outpouring of God's Spirit.

Whilst God sees all men as equal, there were a number of men who God chose to lead this new revival, one no more obvious than the late Pastor Gordon Gibbs who with his newly found gifts of the Holy Spirit began to pray and prophecy over the multitudes. Hundreds were saved and healed as a result and it was this new group of believers in Emu Plains west of Sydney that had heard of the amazing transformation God was bringing through this man. Gordon was asked to come and pastor this small but significant group and though first reluctant he finally heard the call.

From this small group to hundreds of new converts of the Baptism of Charismata if the Holy Spirit a property in Orchard Hills was purchased. With only enough for a hand deposit twenty one acres was bought to be the home of Penrith Christian Fellowship Centre. It was here at this property in 1986 that I first encountered God and in a night of His awesome display I received the Holy Spirit as a seal upon my life.

The next few years were a blur as I began study at our local bible school and the following year was asked in 1988 to serve as a youth leader working in our local high schools. It was in December of 1988 that I met my wife whilst ministering with Steve Kelly at Burrendong Dam Recreation Park at a combined Christian youth camp. Over lunch on the 12th of November and five hours of table tennis I fell in love with this amazing Swedish exchange student that would become my wife and the most terrific mother to our two beautiful children.

After visiting Ann-Marie and her parents in Sweden at the end of 1989, we both began study at our local bible college and in October of that year were engaged to be married. Whilst still employed at the church came one of the most difficult yet exciting decisions I had ever made. We would marry in Sweden and put down roots away from my homeland but most importantly away from those people who had become my family.

After two and a half years of living in Sweden and of marriage, Australia and my home church beckoned. We arrived home at the beginning of February 1993 and I was asked to be New Christians pastor by the legendary Gordon Gibbs who had once again taken the helm of the church. For an exciting three years I witnessed God to some of the most miraculous things both in me as a person and in the life of our church. It seemed to be that nothing could go wrong. At least until I received a phone call in the middle of the night whilst on holidays in Sweden. Our church was to amalgamate with another church and it's pastor would become the new senior leader of the new amalgamated church which became known as Penrith Christian Life Centre.

With this new change came all the uncertainty and fear that the enemy could throw at me. Within a few minute phone call my world was turned upside down and faith was turned to fear. The following year and the amalgamation process was messy, not just for myself but many others who like me struggled with letting go of the past and all we knew and allowing God to establish the new. I knew I was in a fight but unfortunately I thought the new pastor was the enemy instead of the true enemy of our souls, the devil. As a result, at the beginning of 1997 I was told that my services to this congregation were no longer needed. I remember the look on the pastors face and his own anguish in cutting off that which had become a great burden to him.

For twelve months I struggled with God, the new pastor and myself and then finally after committing to a project which was birthed in anguish we left once again for Sweden. Naturally our motives for Sweden seemed pure, establish a new outreach in the South of Sweden and see the Kingdom of our God expand. Yet inwardly this was simply a way of justifying my own selfish desires and putting off the true desires of my God to embrace the plans He had for my life.

After two years of knowing, knowing that I must return to deal with my own hurts and pain of un-forgiveness I begin a pattern of uprooting my family which would repeat itself whenever things became too difficult. We arrived back in Australia after the birth of our beautiful daughter in the Autumn of 1999 and after a year of trying to get resettled I have enough courage to approach the pastor to ask his forgiveness for my poor behaviour and for judging him.

A lot has happed since this day, yet one thing is sure, our God is a god of love who desires to reconcile himself not only with himself but also with those around us. Twenty years on, I am pleased to report of the continuing love I have for God but also for my brothers and sisters at what is now Imaginations Church. Even more so, God is continually releasing me to show His love even to those that hate me and His Church.

The Body of Christ - 1Corinthians12

As a new Christian, we were given the example of working as soldiers in the army of God to achieve the goals and mission of the church. In fact we were shown pictures of the Roman soldiers as they linked arms or shields to form one great line of defence and offence. Whilst the old testament does give us examples and descriptive pictures of the Israelites as they went into battle, Paul in 1Corinthians12 gives us what we would say is an accurate understanding who we are in Christ and how He interacts with us. Even if we are to use the example of the Israelites formation when going into battle, it is interesting to note that the tribes of Israel formed a cross with the ark of covenant firmly positioned at the centre of the cross formation. Once again emphasising the redemptive power of Christ on the cross and all he achieved for us. See Below:-

 

I Corinthians 12 speaks of a different formation that we now have when in Christ. Whilst Ephesians speaks of the armour of God is in place, it is clear the body is not a picture of many people but of many parts of one body. This I believe gives greater bearing to Paul's teaching on the armour of God.

 

When in prayer today, I was given a picture of the armour of God over four members of my family, namely myself which represented one half of the body including the leg, my wife who was the other half of the body including one leg and our children, each representing an arm each. As expected, Christ was represented as the head of the body.  I felt the Lord say that each of us make up the members of his body in this way. As our numbers increase, each person represents another part of the body. This is only speculation but perhaps when the body increases as promised to Abraham, that is as "numerous as the stars" as spoken in Genesis 22&26, perhaps this will have each believer represented on a cellular level? Sorry for sounding a bit weird, but this may already be the case.

 

This places greater importance on how we as the body of Christ interact with one another. Just as every part of our body feels when another part is in pain, so too does the church, the body of Christ, know when things are not right. I once heard a preacher speak on when a body part becomes disjointed that it effects the way in which the whole body moves. In the same way, when there is division within the body, even at a local level, it affects every part of the body as a whole.

 

I know now, better than I have ever known, just how important it is not to have division within the body. We often think that we can operate normally with division or even separation for example when a member of our body is cut off, the reality however is very different. Scientist now tell us that separation, division, trauma, grief and many other areas which effect us on an emotional level actually also effect us on a physical and spiritual level also. We simply cannot discard what happens from one part of our lives from the rest. As my wife has said regarding a woman's brain, it is just like spaghetti and everything is connected.

 

We are connected to the body of Christ both on a local and universal level. It is important that we continue therefore to lift up every part of Christ's church and body in prayer and believe our God for His healing power to sweep over us and bring unity. This is true on our individual family levels, local neighbourhoods, cities, nations and finally across the world as we know it.



Repentance and the sinking boat

Again and again in scripture we are commanded to repent. Repentance has always been to turn away from those things which lead to death and destruction and to follow the way that leads to eternal life. Matthew 6:33 speaks of seeking or putting first the kingdom of God and it's righteousness at the forefront of our minds and therefore our ways. In doing so we become aware of those areas of our lives which are contrary to God's kingdom and His ways.

Repentance can be viewed in two different ways, imagine you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean with a number of other people. Suddenly you become aware the boat has sprung a leak and you have only two options. One, to jump ship and swim for shore and though there is a possibility you may through a miracle come across a log or plank that can assist you to reach land, the likeliness is that you will succumb to the depths of the ocean whilst waiting for your miracle.

The second option is that you with the rest of your passengers begin to scoop out the water from the boat using your hands or any other means you have. Though there is no guarantee of salvation by scooping our the water, together as you jointly become aware of your predicament and circumstance may some how be able to keep the boat from sinking until you reach shore or other means are at your disposal.

We often view repentance as a one time solution for the whole of our Christian lives. Yet Jesus made it clear in the gospels that our walk with him is a daily one. That each day we must "deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow him". This is also true of repentance as our heavenly Father reveals our humanity and the things in our lives which cause us to miss the mark or the heavenly target that he has for those He loves.

Let us daily allow God's Holy Spirit to examine our hearts and ways, let us embrace the opportunity to change and grow our lives in the ways in which He intended for us.

The Power of Peter's Life - Acts 2:1-14

The Power of Peter’s Life

Introduction: Acts 2:1-14 Then Peters Stood Up

The same Peter who only days earlier had denied our Lord three times was now this bold and empowered person who not only saw three thousand added to the number of the disciples in a single afternoons preaching but who rightfully claimed the role of leader to the group who would become known as The Christian Church and eventually turned the world on its head.

The outer workers or manifestations of the Spirit on the day of Pentecost were obvious, rushing winds, tongues of fire and a multitude of different languages that miraculously were endowed upon believers in an instant.

Similarly the fruits of the Holy Spirit from Galatians five are also easily identified in the lives of believers. But in inner workers of the Holy Spirit are more difficult to identify and as a result are not often spoken of. Yet Paul says that all of these things are from the one Spirit. And though we often like to separate the inner from the outer it is apparent that one cannot exist without the other.

It is therefore these inner works which I believe are just as vital to seeing God’s Spirit manifest in the lives of any believer.

Jesus Breathes on the disciples – John 21

After Jesus appears to the disciples when they were hid from the Jews in fear of reprisals, which is for the body of our Lord not being present in the tomb, Jesus appears amongst them and greets them with “Peace I give unto you”. Whilst this greeting may seem out of place in this setting, seeing Jesus ‘presence in itself is a miracle, it was however a customary for Jews to greet others in this way. The greeting of Shalom which actually means for wholeness basically means “you have no reason to fear me”.

Very little was said during this meeting but Jesus goes on to breathe on them and tell them to receive the Holy Spirit. Whilst some scholars see this merely as a pre-emptive act for the coming of the Spirit on the day of Pentecost, I think there are greater consequences of this simple greeting and breathing than meets the eye.

Jesus said on multiple occasions that he only did what he saw or heard from the Father. Just as when Jesus cursed the fig tree for not bearing fruit and as a consequence the disciples saw it shrivelled when they passed by the following day, so too was this simple act the beginning of a transformation in the lives of all the disciple none the least of Peter.

The disciple had for three years walked with Christ and seen and heard all that he had done and said. Just as faith comes from hearing the word so too had the disciples increased their faith in being with Christ? Now it was time for the Holy Spirit to begin his inner workings in their lives.

What had happened with Peter when they came for Christ?

Firstly we know that Peter acted like he often had previously, impetuously and rashly by cutting off the ear of the high priests ‘servant. This was not uncommon for “foot in mouth” Peter who was often saying and doing the wrong things.

Whether it was at the transfiguration of Christ when Moses and Elijah appear and Peter can only think to build shelters for them or when Jesus must rebuke harshly Peter with “get behind me Satan” from wanting to hinder the work of God.

Secondly we know Peter scattered and ran like the others probably in fear of being arrested with our Lord. Yet later on we find he follows Jesus to the residence of the high priests home. It is here that we witness Peter’s most difficult moment and the three times that he denies even knowing Christ.

Interestingly, each of these denials I believe correlate to the temptations of Christ and later reveals why Christ asks Peter if he loves him three times. This I call the pattern of three.

Christ’s Temptation                        Peter’s Denial                                   Peter’s Restoration

-Turning stone to bread                                warm himself by the fire              Do you Philae me?

(the need to eat)                              (the need for warmth)                   (Feed my lambs)

-Atop the temple mount              No admitted to H/Priest home  Do you Agape me?

(Authority of the church)              (Exclusion from hierarchy)           (Care for my lambs)

-Kingdoms of the world                                Association with evil                       Do you Agape me?

(Worldliness adorned)                   (Cursing not be approved)           (Feed my Sheep)

Thirdly he went back to what he knew, fishing and in John 21 in a little BBQ scene we see Peter finally restored.

So how did the Holy Spirit work in Peter leading to Pentecost?

Firstly much more powerfully than we give credit. Not only was Jesus determined to see Peter reconciled to himself but also restored as the true leader of the early church. Just as God’s gifts are irrevocable so is his calling in our lives. God is committed to Peter fully and we see this in his complete restoration as seen in John 21.

He exposes our Sin and Weaknesses

Just as Peter denied Christ three times so too did our Lord ask Peter if he truly loved him three times, each weighing heavily upon Peter’s weaknesses. Not just as the world loves, that is with Philae love, but as God loves with Agape love which is unconditional.

Peter as decreed by Christ to be the Rock was no longer the reed which sways with the direction of the wind, Peter’s personality and ways was to give in and to give up when things became too difficult. Now the Lord is exposing his weakness to see him as the man of God he was always called to be.

He causes us to let go of our past and traditions

Christ comes to Peter and the disciples when they had returned to what they knew, that is fishing. This was their past time and security in what they knew and understood. When Jesus went to the cross and died they thought this was the end of the journey. They could not see the bigger picture even after Christ appears to them after his resurrection. These fishermen turned back to what they knew to meet their needs and bring them a sense of security. We too, in our darkest hours will often go back to what we know and think brings us security. Maybe this is our parent’s home or place of upbringing, but the journey with Christ must continue.

He brings us to a place of submission

As Christ restores Peter, he does so in three ways. First asking Peter to “feed my lambs” , whilst this simple comment may seem insignificant it is important to note Jesus’ use of the word lambs as opposed to sheep. Simply, this I believe is a metaphor for Peter to be obedient to his original call to lead the church even in its early days.

Secondly, Christ asks Peter to take “care of my lambs”, I believe emphasising the increasing burden and responsibility that he must have to those that belong to Jesus. Not necessarily those whom Peter loves but who are loved by Christ.

Finally he asks Peter to “fee my sheep”, now speaking of lambs that have grown and matured both in understanding and age. This is a call to be obedient to the very end to the church that Christ is head.

Interestingly, it is said that when Nero attacked the Christians when looking for a scapegoat for burning Rome, Peter fled Rome, only later on the road returning to Antioch he turns back and fulfils his call of obedience to the Lord. It is in his turning back to face certain persecution and death does he completely fulfil his call of obedience.

The Intrusian of Love

When we love someone, it is easy to see that our love at times for those we love can be an inconvenience. I just returned from a friend's home who was baby sitting his granddaughter and grandson. As I watched him and his wife do nothing but run after these three and one year olds, I realised that there lives were greatly inconvenienced by these two little ones that were now in their care. After pointing out the obvious, they responded by saying "we would have it no other way".

Love is intrusive, when we love someone they can and will often cause disturbance or a disruption to our lives. These two beautiful children, as precious as they were brought havoc to the normal operations of my friends lives. I recently felt the same whilst teaching my daughter to drive, though I love her and believe in her, I constantly felt concern when ever we hopped in the car for a lesson. And though this is a temporal thing which will fade with time, there will be something else that arises that will disrupt our lives. This however is a normal part of being in relationship and loving those around us.

God loves us, as scripture again and again tells us and how Jesus going to the cross has demonstrated. John 1:1-3; 14 says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made ... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth” Philippians goes on to say that Jesus left his abode, heaven, and became man. Though Christ knew no sin, he became sin for us.

We can view this from two angles, one in the view of Christ and the incredible sacrifice he made on our behalf but also in view of the sinner, that is those needing salvation. When I first believed in Christ Jesus as my saviour I knew my life was in ruin. Though the appearance of having it all, money, friends and a bright future, I knew that there was something or better someone who was missing from my life. But to have that someone in my life was going to cost me, not just a little but everything I had and knew. Friendship with God will always mean animosity with the world and worldliness. Matthew 6:33 commands us to seek first his kingdom and all his righteousness...This requires we laydown our lives, take up our cross and follow Jesus daily. Denying ourselves, our wants for the sake of others is the very thing that Christ displayed to us.

Not only do we pay the price for love but we also gain the benefits of it. Those are obvious when it come to God and the riches of his kingdom. But on an earthly level the benefits of sharing our lives with others, though at times can be intrusive to us and them, far out way any costs we may incur. Love is intrusive, but without love we really have no relationships nor do we have the benefits of those relationships in our lives. Therefore just a God is love, learn to love more and in doing so I believe we see more of God in our own lives.