It is said that we cannot trust our emotions, that is our feelings. And whilst we understand that feelings are simply a release of various chemicals induced by a series of impulses, it is also said that feelings and emotions are a way in which we know and understand what is underlying or beneath the surface that we often hide.
When I recently began to experience feelings of alienation and abandonment, one thing became blindingly obvious, within me were feelings and emotions that I never truly allowed the Holy Spirit to illuminate and deal with in my life.
Once these feelings were triggered began a flood of responses and reactions which I did not expect. I imagined every conceivable negative thought that I think was possible at the time. Ranging from feelings that the person who triggered these feelings did not love me though we have history of great love and genuine care for one another to wanting to simply go home, to be with the Lord Jesus in eternity.
Obviously these reactions or responses to this triggered pain and hurt were unwarranted yet also undeniable at the time. As a result I experienced great grief, pain, depression, anxiety and even panic attacks from this simple trigger. Where did this pain originate? As a child after my parents divorced I often had feelings of being alone and alienated from my family due to not having a permanent home. Moving back and forth between my parents and not having my own room or even bed until sometime made me believe I was unwanted and unimportant to those around me.
These feelings manifested throughout my life by creating as stable and permanent place for myself. Ranging from starting my own business, building my own home and starting my own churches. Not relying on others for my supply but by independence and self reliance. This however is not how our God has created us nor wishes us to be. Reliant upon Him in everything and sharing all we have and all we are with those around us as the family of God He has made us as we see demonstrated in the Acts of the Apostles.
So can we trust our emotions? No, I don't think we can but we can certainly learn from them. When we are able to be self critical and even allow others to criticise us with the purpose of helping us to grow in faith and love, then our emotions can help to understand what is lying beneath. Galatians 5 speaks of the fruit of the Spirit. They begin with love and end with self control, and whilst I do not believe this list is exhaustive, what I do feel that God certainly wants our reactions to all emotions to begin with His love and end with a life that is self controlled!
When we are squeezed or under pressure what do we see in our lives?
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