"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has to do with punishment. He that fears is not made perfect in love."
I have recently been pondering this scripture, one that I have read many times over the years as a Christian. But it was only today that I realised in my own life I was operating in fear rather than in love in how I raised my children.
As a child, I was fearful of what my own father was capable of doing and often did when it was time to punish me and my siblings for our poor behaviour. This is in no way saying that correcting those who have done wrong is incorrect, we all need to know that we have wronged in life. My own father was often very good at explaining why we were being smacked or punished for our behaviour, yet this did not stop me from becoming fearful and in the same way making my own children fearful when they misbehaved.
Being married to a Swedish woman who I have always respected for her ability to do things in a softer and gentler way than myself, we often took on the Swedish way of disciplining our children. One such thing was to place our children on a "naughty chair or step" for a short period of time to reflect on their behaviour and to apologise afterwards. It was truly amazing just how effective this practise was. I however wasn't always as patient as my wife in using this discipline and on many occasion used the angry look in the car mirror to stare down my children when they misbehaved when driving to and fro. Whilst this practise did work, causing our children to at least curb their behaviour for a short while, what I believed it also did was instil in them a sense of fear towards me their father rather than a sense of love.
I loved my father but was always fearful of what would happen if I displeased him in some way. This developed a belief and attitude in my own life towards my heavenly Father that he too was always waiting to correct me or discipline me for my own wrong doings.
It has only in recent years that I have felt a renewed sense of my heavenly Fathers love for me that has changed my belief and attitudes towards him. God the Father (Pappa) loves me and though at times I may need correcting, all that He does is grounded and comes from His great love for me.
In 2 Corinthians 13:14 Paul closes with these words "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen." I believe this is one of the most comprehensive scriptures which describe the work and relationship that the Lord Jesus, our Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit desires for all of God's creation.
I now know that I have a heavenly Father that truly loves me and in the same way desires me to love Him and all of those I come in contact. This of cause begins at home, with my own beautiful children and amazing wife. I now pray that my future relationships with my children and others is based in love rather than in punishment.
I pray you also have this revelations!
God Bless
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