Truth & Feelings

It is said that we cannot trust our emotions, that is our feelings. And whilst we understand that feelings are simply a release of various chemicals induced by a series of impulses, it is also said that feelings and emotions are a way in which we know and understand what is underlying or beneath the surface that we often hide.

When I recently began to experience feelings of alienation and abandonment, one thing became blindingly obvious, within me were feelings and emotions that I never truly allowed the Holy Spirit to illuminate and deal with in my life.

Once these feelings were triggered began a flood of responses and reactions which I did not expect. I imagined every conceivable negative thought that I think was possible at the time. Ranging from feelings that the person who triggered these feelings did not love me though we have history of great love and genuine care for one another to wanting to simply go home, to be with the Lord Jesus in eternity.

Obviously these reactions or responses to this triggered pain and hurt were unwarranted yet also undeniable at the time. As a result I experienced great grief, pain, depression, anxiety and even panic attacks from this simple trigger. Where did this pain originate? As a child after my parents divorced I often had feelings of being alone and alienated from my family due to not having a permanent home. Moving back and forth between my parents and not having my own room or even bed until sometime made me believe I was unwanted and unimportant to those around me.

These feelings manifested throughout my life by creating as stable and permanent place for myself. Ranging from starting my own business, building my own home and starting my own churches. Not relying on others for my supply but by independence and self reliance. This however is not how our God has created us nor wishes us to be. Reliant upon Him in everything and sharing all we have and all we are with those around us as the family of God He has made us as we see demonstrated in the Acts of the Apostles.

So can we trust our emotions? No, I don't think we can but we can certainly learn from them. When we are able to be self critical and even allow others to criticise us with the purpose of helping us to grow in faith and love, then our emotions can help to understand what is lying beneath. Galatians 5 speaks of the fruit of the Spirit. They begin with love and end with self control, and whilst I do not believe this list is exhaustive, what I do feel that God certainly wants our reactions to all emotions to begin with His love and end with a life that is self controlled!

When we are squeezed or under pressure what do we see in our lives?

Conduits of Love

God is Love and according to John, if there is no love in us then it means God is not in us or at least we are not in Him. If then God is Love, which I believe, then the attributes of God must be seen in our own lives.

The key attribute of God has to be His unconditional love for all of His creation. This includes those whom we perhaps dislike or even hate for one reason or another. Of cause your saying if there is hate in our lives then we are not in God's love and this I also believe to be true according to scripture. Yet we also know that as Christians (followers/disciples of Christ) that even we can be subject to hurt and pain which can result in all sorts or contrary feelings towards those who hurt us.

Paul the apostles encourages us to pray for those who hurt us. Easier said than done, yet as we do this I can say first hand that it can have a profound change in hearts and on our lives. Jesus on the cross prayed for those who crucified him but the reason we often forget to mention, that is "because they know not what they do". All of us are at times subject to influence which cause us to say and do things which we regret or know is wrong. Recently my own frustration and pain caused me to respond angrily towards the most precious person I have ever had in my life, namely my wife. Did I mean the things I said? No certainly not but I said then all the same and then paid the price for my wrong doing.

Whilst in this example I was the one which did wrong, I myself have been subjected to much wrong doing throughout my life. My reaction to this has not always been exemplary but I am learning to respond as Christ did and as God desires us all to do, with His unconditional love. My prayer each day now is "Father, help me to respond to everyone and every circumstance with your kind of love". This is not easy to do as it requires each and every day, perhaps every moment, that I yield and subject my will into the hands of my heavenly Father.

I call this being a conduit of love, that is transporters, vessels, rivers of which God's love can flow to others. This has been most obvious in the work environment I find myself at the moment. Working with boys in detention and who possess some of the most aggressive behaviour, there is a continual need for me to see these boys not based on their behaviour but how God sees them, as His creation and beloved!

Whether we are children of God or God haters, one thing is certain God loves us all equally...

God Bless you