Losing Control - Matthew 16:25

Since the age of nine years old, I have had constant upheaval in my life. This is not to say there have been wonderful and blessed times as well but the general pattern, even as a Christian man has been a continual pattern of moving from one thing to another. I have made many excuses for this in my life, taking the Pentecostal view of prosperity and blessing I would often describe this as a gift and a calling of my life. Yet when I look back, even today at things I have done in recent years I see that almost everything I have done has been out of reaction to my hurt and pain from my childhood and teenage years.

Since my parents divorced at age nine, I would move from house to house as I was confronted with hurt and pain from those around me. Whether it was because of my stepfather treating me as a second rate member of our house hold because I was not his son to being told to sleep on the lounge at my father's home as my step sister needed the only spare room in the house. These early years of my life continued throughout my teenage years and even after inviting Christ to be Lord of my life at age seventeen.

Hurt continued as I grew older and the interesting thing about hurt is if not dealt with it becomes increasingly difficult to deal with as time progresses. When at age nineteen years I was excluded from being a part of the leadership team for the youth department of our church where I was employed, rather than dealing with my hurt at this time I fled to another opportunity and place where I did not feel threatened. This is when I started a habit of starting new projects and pioneering new ministries in the name of Jesus when really it was all about me fleeing from the hurt of those around me.

As time moved on and those around me continued to hurt me, I looked for my own strength and gifts to make up for my lack of humility. Pride and arrogance grew stronger in my life as the projects I started in my own strength and out of my own hurt were often viewed as successful. Rather than giving God glory for my life I went about glorifying my own natural abilities and made excuses to my self and those around me for running from place to place. I would make my family, namely my wife and children bare the brunt of my hurt by forcing them to accept these new so called opportunities to serve the Lord.

In the last two years I have gone through a process by which all of the things of which I would boast have been stripped away. The churches and ministries I started, the homes I restored and built and even the respect from the only people in my life that I have ever really trusted. All has been taken from me and yet now for the first time ever in my life I know that I am in a place where God is truly ABLE to do EXCEEDINGLY and ABUNDANTLY, ABOVE ALL and BEYOND that I could ever hope or imagine (Ephesian 3:20).

I have lost control of my life and whilst many would feel uncomfortable with losing control I know that when I am not trying to control the outcomes of my circumstances by being my own boss, own ministry director, owner builder or even my own pastor of my life that now Jesus can begin to be ALL those things he can be in my life and more. This is precisely what Jesus was saying that if any one wants to gain his life he must first lose it (Matthew 16:25).

The most powerful sermon ever preached in my opinion is the Sermon on the Mount by Christ Jesus in Matthew chapters 5-7. In these two chapters Jesus outlines more or less the attitudes that we as followers of our Lord Jesus should have in us. Most importantly to me over the years has been in particular the Beatitudes that Jesus spoke of in the third to tenth verses of Matthew 5. These are listed below:-

The Beatitudes

He said:

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 

Having a Pentecostal and prosperity view point I never really made sense of these verses until recently in my walk with Christ. How could the poor in spirit, the mourners, meek, hungry, thirsty, pure, peace makers (perhaps these last two I understood) and the persecuted be those who apparently inherit the Kingdom of God. In fact if we are to understand Jesus's word correctly, it is these who make up those who are in heaven and even in their nature and character have the kingdom within them on earth. This went right across all ideology and thoughts that I was used to.

 

Yet when we examine the characteristics that are in contrast of those with these attitudes we soon realise that people who are not poor are rich, who do not mourn have joy, who are not meek are proud, who are not hungry are full, who are not thirsty are quenched, who are not merciful are unmerciful, who are not pure in heart are evil, who are not peace makers are war mongers and who are not persecuted for Christ are anti-Christ. These people at least in their own minds have their full and need or lack nothing on this earth.

 

When we realise that we have nothing in ourselves that cause us to inherit the Kingdom of God, that is when are hearts are ready to receive from God all He has to offer us. This is also true of the fruit of the spirit when viewed in contrast to the fruit of the manifestations of our flesh as we read in Galatians 5. When we can acknowledge our need for God to work in every part of our lives, knowing that we have nothing within ourselves, then the helper, the precious Holy Spirit can come into and work through our lives to produce fruit which remains and which in turn will produce it's own fruit.

 

God Bless you, even those that hate Christians including me, I pray that God works wonders and miracles in your life and shows you the richness of His heart and sincere love that He has for you.